After two long years in the workforce, I find myself back at university. It happened so fast. One day I was sat laughing at my desk, the next I was handing in my resignation upon receiving advice from an NZME editor. Although it’s challenging to go back, I’ve never been more ready. Five years ago I started university in braces (that too, first week), acne and no experience whatsoever. This time round, I’m armed with confidence, a sense of ‘adulthood’ and a brace-free smile. And though the institute has changed, sadly my fashion choices have remained the same.
I walked into AUT this morning with butterflies. It was my first day, but the group was already on their third. I’d long decided to make 2017 a Good Year, which meant stripping myself off almost everything I currently am. Still, I allowed five minutes to revert to my old self and freaked the hell out before going to class- in typical Sinelle fashion, of course. I’ve since found that my worry was for naught.
Adopting a new persona means seeing the world in new light. I talked to my fellow post-graduates like I wasn’t dying on the inside. I wrote what I had to and allowed it to be critiqued as if I wasn’t at all insecure. I strutted around campus, chatting merrily on my phone- while the unsuspecting crowd had no idea that it really was my sister on the other line helping me find seating so I wouldn’t look like a loner. And as the day progressed, so did my comfort levels. In short, I faked it till I made it.
In a little under three weeks I’ll be out of a job and living like a broke uni student. My future is completely uncertain. I’m terrified! But in a new twist, I’m also excited. Taking risks with my future is not something I normally do. But this is a resolution I’m determined to stick to.
I’m not normally one to give advice, because I’m not normally good with emotional things. Yet if there’s one thing I can tell you now, it’s that you must take the risk. Whatever it is that you were planning to do, but were too afraid to, do it anyway. My own example may not seem like much but for a worrywart like me, it’s a milestone. It’s like Anastasia sang, “if I can learn to do it, you can learn to do it. Pull yourself together, and you’ll pull through it”. The song is from my favourite animated movie and has become my personal mantra. So let go of your inhibitions and I’ll let go of mine. So what if it’s already the third month of the year? Third time’s the charm, anyway! Here’s to 2017!